You Know You're A Photographer When...

...You go to the fair for the sole purpose of taking pictures.

Ah, the fair. Only two years ago, the county fair was a place I went with friends, the desperate hope lingering in my mind that I'd meet a boy and have that romantic night at the carnival, holding hands, him winning me a stuffed animal.

What a load.

That kind of thing never happened to me, no matter how pretty I tried to make myself and how "cool" I was with my friends. I just wasn't one of those girls. It was frustrating and disappointing.

This year, as I walked onto the fairgrounds with my father, I saw all the glammed-up high school girls, always together in a group, all obviously hoping for that night of innocent romance, and I said to my dad, "I am so glad I don't care what I look like here anymore." I wasn't wearing my best shirt, I didn't have my hair in it's best 'do, and my make up was nothing special; in fact my shirt had a couple of noticeable sewn-up holes, my hair was a little flat, and I hadn't touched up my make-up since about noon. I didn't look bad, and I didn't look hot. I looked like me and it felt wonderful to just be the way I am. Besides, I was on a mission to take some purdy pictures!

I've grown up a lot since graduating high school. I've always been a little more mature than my peers, but it feels like the loose ends of the hormonal cesspool that is the teen years have been tied up, and it's wonderful. Would I like a cute little romance at the fair? Maybe. But as my dad and I stood in line for the ferris wheel (I wanted some arial shots) and watched as a boy siliently got up the courage to hold his girl's hand, I was so glad that I wasn't faced with that nerve-wracking experience. It was pretty cute how he nervously brushed her hand with his own before finally making his move though.

Yeah. Anyway.

I got some pretty cool photos taken tonight. One that stands out like crazy, and is the best by far is below. I took this one from the ferris wheel:

Wanna Be My Benefactor?

I've been having a few photographic setbacks. Yesterday, I had some of my best work rejected by a stock photography website because my photos "don't meet their composition standards" and there may not have not been enough pixels. This was VERY frustrating. I was disheartened, not because I believed my photos weren't of a high enough standard, but because I couldn't believe what I read. I don't meet your composition standards? oh, come on now. I browsed this website's photographs, and the shots I entered, at the very least, matched the quality of what was displayed. I understood that my pictures do not have enough pixels though, because my Canon S1 IS only has 3.2 measly megapixels...a source of frustration for some time...but we'll get to that soon enough.

To add to my bad day, I went to have some of that 35mm film (I'm pretty sure I blogged about it) developed, only to find that none of the frames were viable. The photo tech said it must be a malfunction in the camera. I was so careful about taking quality photos and was so excited to see how I did...and nothing came of it. Frustrating. Very frustrating.

As a shutterbug to the point of OCD I was pretty upset by all the bad photographic news of the day, and the fact that my new medication has so far made me crazy dizzy and uncomfortably nauseated didn't help at all. Oh, and there's also the fact that the pop-up automatic flash on my Canon has decided not to close any more. A familiar desire has once again overcome me; I need a newer, better camera. I need more megapixels!!! I've been wanting - no - needing a Canon Digital Rebel EOS with at least 8 megapixels for the majority of the summer. I need a more professional camera if I want to expand my options as a serious photographer, and this one is the best...well, if one excludes the $3000 models.

So, why not just buy this new camera? Uh, yeah. I'm broke and jobless and this thing will be at least $700. And so we come to the main topic of my post this evening: Wanna be my benefactor? C'mon now, all you have to do is...uh...give me your credit card number *wink*. Oh, if only I were an heir to the Morton Salt empire (Morton's the last name, folks)! If only I wasn't too much of a wimp to get a "real" job. If only I had fairy godparents....

For now, all I can do is dream of my Canon Rebel. I hope to have this new appendage before the end of the year, but there's a good chance that won't happen. So, if you are independently wealthy and wanna make a girl's dream come true, fork over the dough!!

*sigh.* If only.

Wanna Be My Benefactor?

How

Hoping For Help

I have a problem that is very disturbing to me. It is, literally, my dreams. You see, a side effect of many antidepressants, quite obviously including the brand I am on, is nightmares. I have terribly disturbing nightmares nearly every night. I can't control them and they seem to tether me down in my sleep, stopping me from waking. I don't know what to do, these dreams are so bothersome and handicapping. I can't seem to wake up properly, I keep getting pulled back into a terrible heavy sleep the moment I begin to wake in the morning.

These dreams seem to be escalating; last night, I was living as a girl killing her parents and boyfriend, who then cut her own throat to appear innocent. This horror came after I dreamed that I was on vacation on an island with my own family, dead bodies drifting to shore, and my father being attacked by a bear. I hate it. Who wouldn't? I don't know what to do about it.

Have any of you had this problem with antidepressants? I'm going to be switching to a cheaper brand soon and I hope that will help, but what if nothing changes? I'm asking for any advise anyone may have about controlling nightmares, because I really, really hate this.

Books and More Books

Tagged (sort of) by CaliforniaTeacherGuy, so read and enjoy. Or don't. Whatever.

1. One book that changed your life: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling. Yeah, I know that's wierd for a life-changing one, but it replenished my imagination and got me interesting in persuing writing seriously.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: The Giver by Lois Lowry. I first read it as required reading in my high school Science Fiction class and reread it a few years later, after graduating. I highly recommend it!

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: The Bible. What better situation to study The Word than a place with no distractions?

5. One book that made you cry: Hm. There have to be others, but all I can think of is Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm not divulging why, though, you'll just have to read it yourself!

6. One book that you wish had been written: How to be a Successful Artistic Photographer in a Town Full of Tasteless Hicks. It's harsh, but basically true, my friends.

7. One book that you wish had never been written: Hm again. There and Back Again: An Actor's Tale by Sean Astin. Sorry, Sean, but the whole thing was basically a pitty party for your large ego. Not many of us care that you weren't as appreciated as you think you should have been in your portrayal of Samwise Gamgee.

8. The book you are currently reading: Star Trek: The Next Generation Gemworld: Book Two by John Vornholt. Easy read, guilty pleasure, sometimes ya just need that kind of thing.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: Don't Kiss Them Goodbye by Allison DuBois. That's right, the woman that the television show, Medium, is based upon.

10. Now tag five people: Um, I don't really know five bloggers that read this regularly, so do it if it strikes your fancy!