Love

At the age of twenty years, five months, and twenty-two days, I have never been kissed. I have never heard the words, "I love you," from a boy. I have never felt a warm embrace. But still, I have loved. Maybe more than those around me with much more romantic experience than I.

I have a hard time understanding the term, "love" in today's society. It seems that love is a selfish thing; "I'll love you, but only if you love me back." But I have recently realized that love-real love-is not a conditional thing. It's not something you should expect in return, it's a deep, unspoken caring for another, no matter what the circumstances.

I love someone. I care for them, I worry for them, I think about their well-being, and I pray for them always. I couldn't say whether they love me back, but that doesn't change my feelings. I don't expect romance and I don't expect them to care for me as much as I do for them. I simply love. And I'm grateful that it's something I'm capable of...though it is quite painful at times. And very lonely.

Of course I would appreciate love in return. Who wouldn't? I am human after all, and all humans want love...we want to feel needed, and wanted in order to know that we exist for a reason and that our lives have really been worth something. We need to know that the pain we endure and the risks we take are all for our own eventual happiness and welfare. But I believe that it has to begin with love. Unconditional.

Slacker

Hello, Dear Readers. I've been a blogging slacker, I know. I can't even say, "but I've been busy lately," because, well, I haven't. I am rarely so busy that I can't make time for the computer. Maybe it's the required maintenance of my other blog that's burning me out. but that's no excuse.

So, I suppose I owe you an update!

Well, I finally bought my plane tickets for my trip to California this July. That's right, there's no backing out now! I'll be in the San Francisco area for a week, visiting family, and meeting a dear, dear friend for the first time in person. I can't wait to see the sights and FINALLY photograph the ocean! It should be a great time, but tiring for sure.

I'm still entertaining the idea of a move out to CA, but I still feel a bit apprehensive. Mostly because I don't want to leave my parents. I don't know how I'd handle possibly not seeing them in person for a year. But it's part of growing up, and the trip this summer will help me to get an idea of life on my own, far outside my comfort zone (and no, I totally didn't mean to rhyme).

I've been taking a lot of pictures, as usual. If you have a Flickr or Buzznet account feel free to look me up, my user name is melpixie...below is one of my more recent photographs.

I hope you are well, Readers, I promise to update more often!!!