Being Twenty Changes Things...

I just turned twenty on November 3rd, and already I'm beginning to feel...different. Those of you that don't know, I live with my parents. I still have posters on my bedroom walls. I don't have a "real" AKA steadily paying job. And now? I want it to change.

I've begun taking down posters in my room, I've talked to my dad about a job opportunity he's aware of (though, ideally of course, I'd love to sustain myself as a photographer), and I want to move out and begin my own life, just me, my dog, and my cat. I found the perfect house over the summer and since I've left the teen years, I feel myself wanting it more than I thought I ever would. It's a small place I've admired for a while, on the street that I grew up on. There was an open house many months back and I went. It's perfect. Wood floors, two bedrooms, fenced in back yard...it's adorable. And it's still on the market.

Did I mention I'm broke?

Yeah.

I feel such a strange attachment to this house. I'm in love with it. I felt at home in those minutes of touring it during the open house. I can see myself living there, making it my own, having my parents over for dinner. I can picture my sweet kitty, Mia, making herself at home, and Pepsi being frisky in her back yard. I can see myself planting flowers in the flower box below the living room window and planting a couple of trees in the green yard. I picture all the things I want in there, some things I have, and many I don't. I long for this house.

These feelings are very strange for me. I'm the girl who cried herself to sleep at 15 from thinking about the day she would have to leave her mommy and daddy's house. I still get those feelings, but every day, my desire to be independent grows. If only money were no object. If only this artist could follow her dreams not having to worry about working some mediocre job for a steady paycheck.

Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket ;)